Weakness

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:9-10, ESV)

The problem? I am not content with my weakness. I hate the fact that I deal with fear and insecurities because I know that they are stealing life from me. I hate that I can only do so much, that I have limitations. I am restless and the thought of resting in Him doesn't seem like enough work to do. Aren't I supposed to fix this? Aren't I supposed to try to become better, to become more brave? Isn't that what He's called me to? No. Not in this way. I don't understand how I'm supposed to function with a weakness that paralyzes me. I'm so used to fixing everything by working and trying harder. But some things won't be fixed that way. Somehow I'm to trust that His grace is sufficient. Somehow my weaknesses are temporary. By some great, glorious miracle, I am being sanctified. I feel unworthy for Christ's power to rest upon me and yet, for that very reason, it does.